Steak and Blow Job Day or How To Cook a Steak 101

In case you haven't heard, it's nearly Steak and Blow Job Day! Men spend ♥ Valentines Day ♥ acting totally out of character, turning themselves into their partner's fantasy. One month later on March 14th, it's time to repay the favor!

We've previously covered How To give a Blow Job 101. Here's How To Cook a Steak 101.
the day before or in the morning 8-24 hours before you want to cook the steak, you need to prepare it. Unwrap the meat and beat it into submission with a spiked mallet. You really want to work it over good for it to be tender and have the juices erupt in your mouth later.

Next, grab some of this magic dust created by the Spade L Ranch and sprinkle evenly all over the meat. Be sure to get all sides moderately covered. Firmly massage the coated meat until the seasoning is worked fully into the meat.


Now that the meat has been beaten, and massaged, cover and let rest until you're ready to cook it. Once you're ready to get the meat hot and juicy, turn on the grill to high. As soon as the grill is smoking hot, lay the meat on the grill and turn down the heat to medium. Let cook for 10 minutes then flip and let cook for 7 minutes. Do not press down or the juices will escape early! As soon as the time is up, remove the meat from the heat, place on a plate and cover with foil. Let it rest for 2-5 minutes before serving. (Consider serving pineapple juice with it)